Principle 3- Turn Toward Each Other Instead of Away
I
love how Gottman says that "A tendency to turn toward your partner is
the basis of trust, emotional connection, passion, and a satisfying sex
life." He then goes on to describe how important the little things are.
He says that the first step in turning toward each other is to simply be
aware of how crucial these moments are. He says, "Just realizing they
(couples) shouldn't take their everyday interactions for granted makes
an enormous difference in their relationship." 
A
few weeks ago my husband and I went out on a date and went to dinner.
Him and I were watching some of the people around us, and it was
actually kind of sad.We were at the Olive Garden, a place you would
think people go to eat and to connect with each other. There was what
looked like a father and daughter, nibbling on their food, both
completely engrossed in their cell phones. From what I saw, as long as
we were there, they rarely said anything to each other. I thought it was
so sad because it's SO important to take advantage of those moments. We
saw a couple that was also talking but also had their phones on the
table, distracted like they were waiting for a text. Those moments I go
out to dinner with my honey are so important to me. We get to talk about
things and not worry about little ears listening, and we can hold hands
and be flirty without grossing the kids out! I feel like those moments
tell me a lot about our relationship. When we can go out and talk about
anything and everything, almost order for each other because we know
what the other likes, and take time for each other, our relationship is
strengthened. I love when my husband notices something that may seem
small, or compliment me on something I think he didn't notice. Those
moments are what add so much to our marriage. 
In the book Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage by
H. Wallace Goddard, he says, "I believe that if we replace judgement
and condemnation of each other with compassion and love, we not only
find more peace, serenity, and tranquility, but also become one smidgen
more like God." I also love that Brigham Young said, "If you could only
see your husband (spouse) as he will be in the glorious resurrection,
this very husband you now say you despise, your first impulse would be
to kneel and worship him." He said the same things to husbands who had
"fallen out of love" with their wives. 
This was
so powerful to me! If we could only see our spouses as they truly are,
and can be, in God's eyes, our relationships would be so different.
Goddard says that when we have vibrant faith in Jesus Christ, we know
that the irritations and challenges of marriage are blessings intended
to develop our character. I don't mean to quote so much, but one last
one I loved was from Jeffrey R. Holland. He said, "Too often too many of
us run from the very things that will bless us and save us and soothe
us. Too often we see gospel commitments and commandments as something to
be feared and forsaken." It makes me so sad when I see couples getting
divorced. Those trials that the couples face, if worked out together
and with God, and taken as an opportunity to grow and be better, can
make us more like God! 
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