Doctrines of Eternal Marriage, Week 3

A covenant marriage is such a blessing.  In a covenant
marriage, Elder Bruce C. Hafen says that “When
trouble comes, the husband and wife work them
through. They marry to give and to grow, bound by
covenants to each other, to the community, and to
God. Contract companions each give 50%; covenant
companions each give 100%.” I can’t think of a better
commitment than to give 100% in every aspect of a
marriage. If both companions are doing this, each will
be happy.

I also thought a lot about what President Benson said.
“The temple is an ever-present reminder that God

intends the family to be eternal. How fitting it is for
mothers and fathers to point to the temple and say
to their children, “That this is the place where we were married for eternity.” By doing so, the ideal temple
marriage can be instilled within the minds and hearts of your children while very young.” I know that my
children are very aware that my husband and I go to the temple often. We talk with them often about the
temple, and they know that it is a special place to go and that it is often our “date nights!” Going to the temple
often is a great strength to my husband and I in our marriage. I can remember my parents going often to the
temple. It was a great example to me of the importance of the temple.

                          
President Benson also said, “When our children obey the Lord and go to the temple to receive their blessings
and enter into the marriage covenant, they enter into the same order of the priesthood that God instituted in the
very beginning with father Adam.” It is important for our children to know that the very priesthood their dad
holds, is the same priesthood that Adam had! As Elder Benson mentioned, the blessings of the temple are
wonderful and our kids should be aware of them. Some listed by President Benson are: receive the spirit of
Elijah, love your family deeper, endowed with power form on high, and receive the key of the knowledge of
God.

Elder Bednar said, in talking of The Family: A Proclamation to the World, “Righteous marriage is a
commandment and an essential step in the process of creating a loving family relationship that can be
perpetuated beyond the grave.” My goal is not temporal satisfaction, but to create a righteous family that I
can be with forever.
                       

In Elder Hafen’s talk, Covenant Marriage, he talks about three “wolves” that every marriage is tested by.
They are natural adversity, their own imperfections, and excessive individualism. In my opinion, excessive
individualism greatly plagues the earth and is detrimental to our society. Satan would have us believe that
everything is about “me.” He would have us separate ourselves from family, from eternal doctrine, and make
people believe that everyone should be and do what makes them happy, rather than following the
commandments of God. Elder Hafen also says, “The adversary has long cultivated this overemphasis on
personal autonomy. He drives us away from each other today with wedges of distrust and suspicion. He
exaggerates the need for having space, getting out, and being left alone.” Once Satan has gotten in a corner,
separated from everyone else, he has greater power of influence to attack our weaknesses.

                                                        

In President Joseph Fielding Smith’s talk, Fullness of the 
Priesthood, he made a lot of great points about
the importance of the priesthood. I don’t know that I learned
anything new, but something that stuck out to
me was this quote. “There is no exaltation in the kingdom of God
without the fullness of the priesthood.” Our covenants that we need
to make to return to Heavenly Father are not
 possible without the priesthood. The
priesthood, the power of God, makes it possible for us to
enter into such covenants with our Heavenly Father.

I also really liked when he said: “The Lord offers to his daughters every spiritual gift and blessing that can be
obtained by his sons, for neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without that man in the Lord.”
So often, especially in today’s world, women get caught up in the fact that they don’t have the priesthood.
Women have such special gifts, and the special gifts given to men and women help each other to be better.
Elder Bednar said, “Because of their distinctive temperaments and capacities, males and females each bring
to a marriage relationship unique perspectives and experiences. The man and the woman contribute differently
but equally to a oneness and a unity that can be achieved in no other way. The man completes and perfects
the woman, and the woman completes and perfects the man.”
                                                        

Week 2, The Family: A Proclamation to the World

The Family: A Proclamation to the World is such an inspired document!  The beginning of the document starts out saying this:

"We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children."

 

"For me, this issue isn’t about being against gays, it is about being in support of traditional marriage.  I believe that legalizing gay marriage is an attack on marriage which is “the oldest social institution in the world.”  

(Lynn D. Wardle, 2007)

TOLERANCE

There is a county clerk in Kentucky, , who refused to grant marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Something that she said stuck out to me- "Those who support same-sex marriage, they don't want any middle ground. They don't want any dissent, and not only do they not want any dissent, they want everyone to affirm gay marriage." 

Elder Oaks said, "Tolerance does not require abandoning one's standards or one's opinions on political or public policy choices. Tolerance is a way of reacting to diversity, not a command to insulate it from examination." 

"Changes in the civil law do not, indeed cannot, change the moral law that God has established." (The First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles Letter, (January 2014).

 Our wonderful living prophet, Thomas S. Monson, encouraged members of the church "to show kindness and respect for all people everywhere. The world in which we live is filled with diversity. We can and should demonstrate respect toward those whose beliefs differ from ours."

Marriage - Week 1

I'm taking a class called simply "Marriage" this semester. I'm very excited to get deeper into marriage and have discussions, and to learn more about making marriage work. I am afraid that I may be a little naive in this department. I have been soooo very blessed. My parents seemed to never fight, because if they did, they didn't do it in front of us. I didn't realize how blessed I was as a kid to have that kind of harmony in my home. My mom was(and still is) about the sweetest thing on earth and we all knew that she would do anything for her hubby! And my dad took good care of my mom and we knew that he loved and cherished and protected his sweet wife.

In The Family: A Proclamation to the World, it says that a "Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children." It goes on to say: "Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."

To me, this is all I knew! For all the times I mumbled under my breath about my mom or dad as a kid and a teen... shame on me! Heavenly Father blessed me immensely.  I looked forward to marriage, to having what I thought was normal, which is a loving, great relationship built upon the love of our Savior.

Our first week's topic in the class was on divorce. Oh how sad that makes me. Marriages are torn apart daily, and the average of divorce is over 50% now. Funny thing is? I never once put my husband and I in that category as even a possibility. But there are families being torn apart everywhere. There is a quote from Spencer W. Kimball that amazed me. He said, "Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us." I read this to my husband and his response was, "We are living in those times." President Kimball gave this prophecy 26 years ago! We are living in a time where we have to have strong faith so that we can safeguard our marriage and our children. They are faced with evil every day.

Elder Oaks said "the kind of marriage required for exaltation- eternal in duration and godlike in quality- does not contemplate divorce." I love this because constant threat of divorce has no place in marriage. No one wants to hear that their spouse doesn't love them enough to go through hard times without the thought of divorce. Divorce has never been spoken between my husband and I. It's not an option for us!

Elder Oaks spoke of the need for the Atonement. He said, "That healing power and that hope are there for them and also for their children." I have recently seen the heart wrenching pain of divorce on a real level. My brother in law and his wife are recently divorced. MY children cried, for months, especially on Sundays. We went over to the in-laws and had dinner with their family almost every Sunday. When she left with the kids, it was hard on all of us. Our Sundays I can't even imagine how hard it has been for the kids, to be uprooted from their home, starting all over in a new state, new home, school, church, and no dad. As I watched one of the videos for class on kids talking about divorce, it broke my heart. The kids are so confused, and don't know what to expect. They feel left behind, disregarded, and sometimes just in shock. Their worlds are turned around. I know that the Atonement can help heal our hearts, and to let go of anger and bitterness. It can offer comfort to families going through a hard time.

Something I found interesting that I read is that couples who were unhappy but stayed in their marriages, ended up being very happy in their marriage five years later. Also, that those that divorced were mostly not any happier after being divorced.

A great piece of advise from Elder Dallin H Oaks on marriage, speaking about husband and wife..."they should be best friends, kind and considerate, sensitive to each others' needs, always seeking to make each other happy. They should be partners in family finances, working together to regulate their desires for temporal things." He also said, "A good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman. It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection." 

We can do it guys!  Find the one you love and love the one you find. Don't let go. With Christ we can do all things! The Atonement has the power to heal all things. 



Marriage 300: Week 1