Week 5 - Cherishing Your Spouse

I found some great quotes that have to do cherishing your spouse. They come from Dr. Gottman's book, The Seven Principles to make marriages work. They are fantastic!

 

"Emotionally intelligent couples are intimately familiar with each others world. I call this having a richly details love map, - my term for that part of your brain where you store all the relevant information about your partner's life."  He goes on to say, "Couples who have detailed love maps of each others world are far better prepared to cope with stressful events and conflict."

 

This is so very true. Often when things get hard, the ones we take it out on are those closest to us. I have tried in my married life to not do this. I have caught myself, but remind myself that my husband is there to support me and love me, and if I'm in a bad mood, he shouldn't have to suffer! Instead, I lean on him. He's my best friend. He eases my burden and just knowing that he cares makes such a difference. He knows me so well, and when hard times hit, we know how to help each other through it.

 

"The best test of whether a couple still have a functioning fondness and admiration system is usually how they view their past."

 

"Fondness and admiration are two of the most crucial elements in a rewarding and long lasting romance. Although married couples may feel driven to distraction at times by their partner's personality flaws, they still feel that the person they married is worthy of honor and respect."   Gottman says that is a couple still has fondness and admiration, their marriage is salvageable. But if your mutual fondness and admiration have been completely extinguished, your marriage is in dire trouble.

 

"There's nothing complicated about reviving or enhancing your fondness and admiration. Even long- buried positive feelings can be exhumed simply by thinking and talking about them. When you acknowledge and openly discuss positive aspects of your partner and your marriage, your bond is strengthened." 

 

My husband is my very best friend in the whole world!! I'd rather hang out with him over any of my friends any day. We can talk about anything and everything, and enjoy to be together. We get along great, and are pretty good at ignoring the small irritating things. I know that I appreciate him so much. He works so hard to provide for the family, he serves faithfully in the church, and is a great dad and husband. It seems dumb to get mad over a simple thing that doesn't matter. I know I don't show him enough how grateful I am, and getting upset over something dumb would make me seem very ungrateful for him. I am blessed, and thankful for my honey!